Playa Hatin’

LAKERS:
Tonight’s match-up that I will be watching will be what looks worse.  Ron Artest’s jumper, or Derek Fisher’s beard that he hit with a little too much Just for Men beard dye.  Sure he won the game for the Lake Show two nights ago, but he has  the worse playoff beard I’ve ever seen.  It is almost bad enough to make me forget about his flopping.  The guy must be gearing up for the World Cup or something.  Maybe he could try shooting a jumper without kicking out a leg or flailing his arms around like he got snipered from the upper bowl.  Pau Gasol will do his thing.  Go for 20 and 10 while looking like the Shoe Bomber Richard Reid.  I’m also assuming he will toss in a few arms up “I never foul” complaints.  Odom will have another decent game because he can’t fuel the fire for the fans who have been hitting him with the UGLY-SISTER chant.  The last thing to watch for is if Kobe will break a bone sticking his chin out, or if he will need a emergency bottle of Vaseline for chapped lips after licking them dry.

CELTICS:     
Hopefully tonight, Ray Allen will try and mix in a pump fake when he has seven footers jumping at him.  A twelve foot open jumper is a lot easier that trying to shoot the ball through Bynum and Gasols forearms.  KG is questionable with a bruised chest after whacking himself after knocking down a few free-throw pitches during practice.  The only way the Celtics have any shot is if Paul Pierce decides to show up.  He has been a cool 7-23 the last two games and spent more time on the pine then on the hardwood.  Stay out of foul trouble and make a bucket or two.  And finally, how about getting Brian Scalabrine on the floor?

My prediction – Lakers 102 – Celtics 97

So the  Celtics beat the Lakers 103 – 94 in Los Angeles on Sunday to even the series at 1-1. With the series going back to Boston for 3 games, Paul Pierce proclaimed to the world after the game that the Celtics weren’t coming back to Los Angeles. Derek Fisher flopped and fell down when Rajon Rondo blocked his shot from behind (typical Fish) and Kevin Garnett looked like Keon Clark out there, firing up jumpers that weren’t even close. But, the real story was the worlds biggest cry baby fans. That’s right, Laker fan has been hacking down the refs all week since the game. There’s no reason outside of the referes that justifies why the Lakers lost…. at least that’s what the bandwagon state fan will have you believe. Let’s take a look at the numbers so I can feel better about myself here.

More after the jump…

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I saw this video today and started thinking to myself… Of all of the options that LBJ has, The L.A. Clippers might have the best chance to win a title by adding King James. Although it is the “Paper Clips”, they have assembled a fairly nice cast of players that offer much more than Cleveland offers, more than New York or Chicago offers and damn sure more than New Jersey has to offer.

The Clippers technically have the #1 pick (Blake Griffin) as well as the #8 pick in the draft, they’ve got rid of Mike Dunleavy and some interim coach named Kim. Clearing the way for Lebron to bring in his picks for Coach and Front Office. On the floor, Lebron would be surrounded by guys who fill roles, guys who can score, and guys who can run the team without Lebron on the floor. There are only 5 players under contract: Baron Davis, Eric Gordon, Blake Griffin, DeAndre Jordan and Chris Kaman. That’s not a bad 5 to start with. Blake Griffin will win the rookie of the year and is a super freak athlete. Kaman & Jordan are a good offense / defense combo to match the Lakers. Baron Davis has lost a little bit, but can shoot the triple, dish the ball, and create on his own.
The Clippers also have player options on role players: Steve Blake, Rasual Butler, Drew Gooden, Steve Novak, Travis Outlaw and Craig Smith. They could resign all these guys and field a pretty formidable team if you include Lebron and a high draft pick. The Clippers also have a trade exception of nearly $6 million dollars from the Marcus Camby, Zach Randolph and Q Rich trades.

Another intriguing aspect to this trade would be the new level that the battle of Los Angeles and the battle of Staples Center would become. Almost certainly, The biggest rivalry and the best 2 teams in the NBA would play in the same arena. This could be Lebron’s opportunity to un-seat Kobe and send him to retirement. I also think that if Lebron packed his bags, hopped on the back of Delonte West’s motorcycle, and moved the family to L.A. Then started acting in some movies and got the word out. By committing to the Clippers early, Lebron could surely lure a Joe Johnson, Chris Bosh, Dwayne Wade or any other top tier free agent to come play with him in L.A. They would become immediate favorites to win the NBA title.

What do you guys think of this option? Think a starting 5 of Baron Davis, Eric Gordon, Lebron James, Blake Griffin & Chris Kaman could compete for a title. If they moved Eric Gordon to the bench and placed D Wade or Joe Johnson at the 2 guard spot, would that do it for them?

This off-season in the NBA might be the craziest free agent festival yet. We have multiple all stars who are going to be free agents, coaches moving at a record pace, teams secretly offering package deals to free agents that include; Choice of coach, management and probably even the brand of hot dogs being sold at the concession stand. The free agents obviously are the main attraction, as landing one of these guys could change the fortunes of any team who’s lucky enough to win the player lottery. To name a few of the prizes to be won: Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Amare Stoudemire, Joe Johnson and Carlos Boozer. Any one of these players could make a horrible team into a playoff team almost immediately. There have been many rumors where these players may be going, it may become too much for us all to handle by the time they decide where they’re going. If you ask anyone where Lebron is going you will get answers ranging from New York to Miami. If you ask me, Lebron’s gone! After he and the Cavilers choked it up against the Celtics, I just can’t see him making a return trip to Cleveland. Maybe if they wouldn’t have focused so much on Orlando, or Lebron hadn’t walked in on Delonte West and Mrs. James. The Cav’s might be playing the Lakers for the NBA Championship. As far as I’m concerned, the Cleveland Cavilers marketing and promotions department should change there sign from “We Are All Witnesses” to “We Were All Witnesses” and kiss the King goodbye.

Picture courtesy of pbwe via nba.com

Email the author: Parker Brown,  parker.brown15@yahoo.com

Cleveland is doing everything it can to keep LeBron in town.  The sent the coach packing.  The same coach that had the best record in the NBA the last two years.  But it wasn’t LeBron’s guy so he was handed his pink slip.  That didn’t exactly work when the Mavericks fired Avery Johnson a few years back.  He had the highest winning percentage in franchise history and got them to the finals.  They canned him and haven’t been close since.  The second victim is GM Danny Ferry.  Apparently he didn’t like the team being ran by a guy that isn’t really on the roster anymore.  He probably is happy to be relieved of his duties.  He couldn’t make a move without 23’s approval.  Throw in a horrible song made by some C list Cleveland celebrities and what does it add up to?  LeBron in a Bulls jersey wearing #6.

I step away from the TV for one day and feel like I missed one of the greatest days of sports.  Roy Halladay tosses a perfect game and barely get the 1-0 victory.  He picked up his 7th win and lowered his ERA to under 2.0.  He is just lucky he doesn’t play the Red Sox again this year.  It was the 20th perfect game game in league history and the first by a guy that looks like he starred in The Burbs.
Then the true highlight of the night came when Kendry Morales went from walk-off grand slam to the DL with a broken leg.  Dude went a little far on the celebration and broke his leg on the jump on home plate.  Congratulations, you can hit a ball 400 feet, but can jump one foot in the air without getting hurt.
The Lakers continue to haunt my life and finished off the Suns.  They just about squandered an 18 point lead, but Kobe went Kobe and finished them off.  They now will take on the Celtics starting next Thursday.
All that, and I guess there was some soccer game, and the hockey finals started.

The game started with Alvin Gentry puking into a bucket and cleaning up with a Gatorade towel.  It ended with me throwing up in my mouth.  After Ron Ron proves my theory that he will cost them the title by tossing up jumpers all night, he comes out of nowhere to stab the Suns in the heart.  The only consolation I can take is that it wasn’t Derek Fisher that put that ball back through the hoop.  I wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed if that flopper would have hit the game winner.  The real true highlight of the night was Sasha Vujacic finally got some time on the floor.  He still has it too.  He can get in there, whack whoever he is guarding and nothing gets called.  He also notched his first two soccer flops of the series, but has no chance to catch his boy Derek Fisher. 

Tonight the Magic try to send their series to a game seven.  Boston will be trying to avoid becoming the second Boston team to blow 3-0 leads.  They will also try to avoid hitting Dwight Howard’s elbows with their face.  My prediction:

Magic 103
Celtics 99

Click on the link to check out the “Top 50 Badass Moments” of all time in sports at one of my favorite sites. What was your favorite “Badass” moment of all time? Do you think the guys over at complex missed any great moments.

Check out what the boys over at Complex are doing.

Apparently in the first half of the Lakers vs. Phoenix Suns playoff game. Phoenix coach, Alvin Gentry couldn’t hold down his deep fried avocado. Come on Phoenix Suns PR staff – Fried avocado! At least tell me that Penny Marshall, who was sitting courtside in a skirt, had uncrossed her legs  across the floor from Gentry, and she wasn’t wearing squirrel covers. Or, tell me that Gentry had been slamming Molson Ice and gravy with Steve Nash pre-game.

Watching the “zone” master yack into a bucket like an expecting mother on the side of the freeway really was the end of my night watching the NBA playoffs. Do you think the NBA will try to market that? Maybe they’ll get one of those, “that’s my focus” commercials.

There is talk of Bron Bron, D-Wade, and Joe Johnson (no nickname…yet) getting together over a bottle of yay-yay over the weekend to discuss their free agency options. I love that this is “news” and that everyone is so impressed that players would think to get together themselves instead of everyone else speculating individually. In my humble opinion, I think that they should do it up real big like the superstars that they are. I’m talkin’ renting out some five-star hotel in La La Land or Vega$, inviting everyone they know, inviting everyone they don’t know, and throwing a party. Hey, if the media is going to make a huge deal of this “meeting,” why wouldn’t they? Break out the Cristal, send out for a box of Cubans, and hire some fly honeys.

I would probably suggest that Bron’s mom and Delonte West stay off the chartered flight, but other than that, come one, come all. Oh, and I’ll be honest that I’m not too familiar with Joe Johnson, and I know he’s an NBA all-star, but does he deserve to be at this meeting? I’m not saying that he should put on a tux and bar tend this party at the LA Four Seasons, but shouldn’t he probably join D-Wade and Bron once they’ve ironed out a few preliminary wrinkles? I’m just sayin’…

Story Credit: PRB – Maryland Press 2010